When people take their vows on their wedding day they very rarely look at the rough times that will be put before them in the future, even if they have lived together it seems like things still change after they say the magical words “I do”
When I was a Pastor one of the hurdles I would see newly weds or even people that had been married for years to have to jump over, is patience. As a society in general we have become less patient with each other it is even worse when we are married.
It is important to remember that when we become a couple we are no longer a separate unit. As a couple we become like a well oiled machine. In a machine if all the parts don’t work together the machine breaks down and that is what can happen to a marriage. There is a passage in Ephesians that says to be patient with one another:
Eph. 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
When we were single we were used to doing things our own way in our own time and at our own speed. Let me give you an example; lets say you like to do your house work and break it up through out the day and your mate likes to get it done right away. Let’s say your mate has to leave for a few hours and asks you to clean the house and being the loving husband or wife that you are you say sure. A few hours later your mate comes home and your still not done, now you see that they are upset and when you ask why, they say it is because you didn’t do what they asked. Now in reality you were cleaning the only way you ever have, the difference is you were doing it differently than they would and they believed that you were ignoring their wishes.
In this case you would probably think to yourself that you were cleaning the house and that they were crazy. What would be the best way to handle this situation? This is an important question because sometimes we tend to snap back at somebody when our feelings become hurt. We can find our answer in the passage in Ephesians if you look at the first part it talks about being humble, a humble heart never has to boast or feel proud by being humble you will be able to explain why you are doing things the way that you are. The second thing it talks about is being gentle; a gentle heart doesn’t find it necessary to lash out when feelings are hurt. The third part is bearing with one another in love, which means to walk side by side while loving each other in other words a well oiled machine. It is my opinion that you can’t have patience with-out being humble and being gentle while doing everything that you can to walk through the trials of life together.
These are skills that take time to build, it is important to communicate with each other while being humble, gentle and patient.