Dating can be a very stressful experience, but it can also be an extremely funny experience as well. I have had both good and bad dates. The good ones have led to relationships while the bad, and funny ones have just led to stories and given me the ability to give some advice from what I have learned.
I’m by far not a dating expert and have only been in a couple serious relationships in my life, but I’ve learned a lot from my bad dates.
My first bad date (though it wasn’t actually my first date with the guy) involves a second date, and asking about where the gentleman lived. At the time I was living in an apartment, as was he, though he was hesitant to divulge the complex name where he was living. After a little prodding on my part, he finally told me that he was living in an apartment complex that had a name similar to, “Bellview Terrace,” though that isn’t the exact name, it is something close.
I had looked at a lot of apartments before I finally chose the one I moved into, so I was familiar with names of the local apartment complexes, and for whatever reason chose to ask the guy if the apartment complex he was living in was a senior citizen complex. He confirmed that it was indeed a senior citizen complex, which caused me to ask if he was only staying there for the winter until his grandparent got back from Florida. This wasn’t the case, he was living full time in a senior citizen apartment complex. He explained to me that the complex offered some of the apartments for rent to low income individuals. The fact that he lived in a senior citizen apartment complex and he didn’t have a lot of money didn’t bother me. What did bother me was his reaction after he told me. He went on a tirade about how he shouldn’t be dating, and that I was just like his ex-wife who always complained that he never had any money , needless to say this was our second and last date.
Another funny dating experience I had involved my agreeing to meet a gentleman for a drink. A couple odd things happened leading up to our date. The first being that my cell phone provider network was down for several hours on the day of our date, something I had to find out by calling my cell phone company from a land line. I was finally able to contact my date through instant messaging on-line. We confirmed that we were still going to meet for a drink later that night.
The first kiss of death to our date was the venue. I wasn’t very familiar with bars in the downriver area of metro Detroit, and therefore allowed him to choose the location of our date. He chose a karaoke/dive bar for our date. I don’t mind hanging out with friends at a dive bar but for a date, I don’t think it’s a wise choice if you are hoping to go on a second date.
The next problem with our date was how he explained why he asked me out for a drink and not dinner, this was something that he hadn’t shared with me prior to our date. If he had, I wouldn’t have shown up. He explained that he asked me out for a drink because that way we wouldn’t be trapped with each other for a whole evening, we could have our one drink and leave if we didn’t like one another’s company. Needless to say, I appreciated his choice, because then I wasn’t trapped with a not so tactful man for the evening in a dive bar filled with bad singers.
My dating advice to anyone willing to listen is to be both a talker and a listener. Be prepared to ask questions and allow the other person to answer, don’t monopolize the conversation. Have a set of standard questions in mind when going out with someone for the first time, these questions can range from asking about the person’s hobbies, sports they like to watch, games they like to play, books they like to read, questions about siblings, and anything else that you may want to learn about the person you are with. When listening to the other person pay attention to how your questions are answered. Do your questions make the other person uncomfortable? Do their answers give you an uneasy feeling? If either of these are the case it is a good idea to stop at your first, or second date. Why prolong something that just isn’t going to work?