Liberals! Can’t live with ’em; can’t squeeze their heads ’til they pop! So whatcha gonna do with ’em? Why, skewer them, of course.
I was listening to my iTunes and perusing the net when I clicked onto CafePress and the Right Wing Stuff, and doggone if some rather enterprising capitalists haven’t come up with some zingers to die for. If only we could get Liberals to die for them . . . .
How about this for a great working definition of Liberalism: the haunting fear someone, somewhere, can help themselves. As well, the short and sassy Liberalism is a no-brainer is rather bang on, no friends?
The next time you find yourself in a “discussion” with one of the uber brained look at ’em, shake your finger in their face and tell ’em, “Don’t give me any of your Liberal Psycho-babble.” When you’ve had all you can take look at ’em and advise ’em, “I want you to take your traitorous Liberal butt to Canada.”
If you’re new at angering Liberals you could start mildly with Love a Liberal? Have it spayed,” or “I’m not closed minded; Liberals are just wrong!” One might instead opt to choose the short and sweet “Liberals ride the short bus,” and this one will indeed spark debate. You know some enterprising Lib will rush up and assault you for being so unkind to mentally disabled kids, right?
Cafe Press & Right Wing Stuff have phrases that cover all the usual Liberal weakness bases. One can get shirts that address the War on Terror like, “Never forget who started it; don’t doubt who’ll end it,” or a picture of a very dead al-Zarqawi and the phrase “Justice served, courtesy of the US military,” or my favorite one, the Democrat donkey with a white flag tied to his tail that says “surrender,’ and the statement, “When danger reared its ugly head, they bravely tucked their tails and ran.”
Cafe Press & Right Wing Stuff have all their products grouped into categories. For example, in their “post-election” collection one can find phrases and images like the MSNBC logo with the hammer & sickle in place of the “C” in MSNBC. And I really like and think accurate the shirt that has an image of a smiling-his-most-evil-grin Obama pointing his finger at you and saying “Sucka! Drank the Kool-Aid, didn’t ya?”
Some of their funnier offerings are just plain rude, hence why I like them so darn much. So, would the phrase “Liberals: the other red meat,” offend anyone? Or try on “I want you dirty stinkin’ Liberals to stop lying to America,” complete with Uncle Sam pointing that narly finger in your face. Still too mild? If the first two won’t make ’em mad try tellin’ ’em, “Liberals: hard on fetuses, soft on terrorists.” That one is almost guaranteed to make ’em go apoplectic.
Right Wing Stuff has even taken to addressing the new Liberals with an image of that legendary Human being, Che and the words “Viva la ignorant rich white kids!”
Tired of being called all kinds of names by the uber brained because you aren’t smart enough to see things their way? The next time one of them calls you bigot, remind them only in the Lib dictionary will we find the definition, “Bigot – A Conservative winning an argument with a Liberal.”
And lastly, when all else fails, take my first words to heart and accept that “The best way to change a Liberal mind is with a rock!” If nothing foregoing didn’t get ’em screaming, this damn sure will. And isn’t that the point? If we must put up with these lame-brained, short bus riding fellow Americans, can’t we at least have a laugh at their expense?
What am I saying? Everything these brain trusts do is funny as Hell, at least in the context of common sense, practicality and just good governance. They have been providing we non-Liberally diseased with jocularity since FDR and the Great Depression. Add in the hippies & the late 60’s and we have been supremely entertained by these “people” for decades. Thanks Libs, I think . . .