Divorce is a difficult thing to deal with. You vowed to spend the rest of your life with your partner and it is all coming to an end. What once was unrequited love has turned to bitterness and anger. Some divorces go through very smoothly and others are the rockiest road the couple will ever travel. The side-affects of it take you on an emotional rollercoaster.
Here are the common emotional stages of divorce:
The first reaction to the proposition of divorce is that of shock. We become shocked that this has happened in our lives. What was once a very happy life together is now broken down and battered. You don’t know how you got to this point. What went wrong? The shock stage can leave us feeling numb and lost.
One person feels that the marriage shouldn’t end. That is when he/she goes into denial. This person feels that the marriage is worth saving while the other partner has already let go. It leads to begging your husband/wife to come back. An unrealistic view of what can happen in the future takes over. Love conquers all in this person’s eyes. The unfortunate part is that his/her partner has already given up on the marriage.
Guilty feelings often come from both parties. Everyone knows that it usually takes two to make or break a relationship. Each side feels the guilt of what he/she could have done to prevent such a tragic end to the marriage. The guilt may not be realistic, but it is still there. You can’t help but question yourself about the things that you did during the marriage to bring it to its final destination.
The guilt turns suddenly into anger. How dare he/she leave me this way! It is no longer our own guilt we concentrate on but the guilt of the other party. The blame game often begins here. Who was right and who was wrong become a major part of the conversations. In the end, it doesn’t matter who was right or wrong. The simple truth it, the marriage has met its demise.
Sadness gets mixed up through all the other emotions. Both sides feel this sadness. It is as if there were a death of a close family member. A marriage that comes to an end needs to be mourned just as though that is what happened.
Eventually, you will come to acceptance of the divorce. It isn’t an easy road to travel and everyone has a different timeline for it. Acceptance is that moment that you realize that the marriage is gone. The other person doesn’t love you anymore for whatever reasons. That is when you will be able to let go of the past and move forward to a brighter future.
Divorce is one of the most emotionally draining experiences in a person’s life. Unfortunately, over half of the marriages created in the United States will end in divorce. Marriage is a tough business. It requires a great deal of work to keep it successful. Those who are unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary to make a marriage last will end up with all of the above emotional stages of divorce.