I realize that there are a lot of people that will disagree with what I am about to write. Tough. You are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am entitled to mine.
As a teacher, I find that being heavy is often a deterrent in the classroom. I find that there are times when I don’t get any respect. It is very difficult to stand in front of a class and look at these young students and not wonder what they think of you. This is only applicable if the teacher is question has little or no self-esteem of course. This over qualifies me. A sad little story comes to mind. I was walking back into the classroom one afternoon, after a particularly harrowing day with my sixth graders, when I noticed that there was whispering and cackling. For purposes of keeping my sanity, I said nothing. I noticed though, that each time I sat down, and pulled my chair in, a number of my students bounced up and then down. When another student walked into the room later and unknowingly asked what was going on, they were met with the following answer. “Our teacher is so fat, that each time she sits down, and pulls her chair in the floor bounces, and we bounce up and down!” A comment such as this one is bound to hurt, regardless of the age of the person stating it. When I called the mother of one of the children, I was told that she knows it’s a problem, since the students are particularly graphic at home, but what was she to do about it? I have to wonder at parents today. We know that world is in a sad state of affairs when parents are not teaching simple manners to their children.
I have had the opportunity to speak with other heavy people, and they tell me that no matter the job, that feeling is there. If you not a heavy person and you work with someone that may not be entirely comfortable with his or her appearance, the best thing to do is act like you would around a thin person. Doesn’t that sound stupid? The obvious thing would be to act normal. But there are so many people out that don’t! So here are some hints for those of you that feel uncomfortable around people who are bigger than you are. Don’t talk about the new (oh it’s sooooo flattering on you) dress or suit. Try to avoid the “Hmmmm something is different about you, did you lose weight?” comment, and most importantly, the quite unnecessary and frankly very unwelcome “Have you been putting on some weight?” question. And unless you know for a fact that the person you are speaking with is losing weight, and wants it to be mentioned, please don’t tell everyone you know that so and so has lost so much weight and don’t they look great. Please also understand those if someone heavy walks into a conversation that does not mean that you should immediately discontinue the conversation. That can be just as bad. And you know those “Your Mama” jokes? Those are really not the ones to tell. For example: “Your mama is so fat, that when she sits around the house, she literally SITS AROUND the house” Har de har har. Quite amusing when you are thin, huh?
THE WEATHER REPORT
You know what it’s like when it gets really hot outside, and your breasts stick to your stomach? Even when you’re wearing a bra? You don’t? Well I do. The hotter the weather, the greater the chance that I’m going to sweat, and with sweat comes smell, stink, avoidance of other, heat rashes, and clothing sticking to areas on the body that you didn’t know you had.
Let me give you some examples. The house that I own didn’t have central air conditioning when we bought it. This meant that it would get stifling hot at night. And not just hot might I add, but sticky and humid as well. Often when I was sleeping, I would roll over.
When it’s hot, and this would happen, I would usually roll over onto a breast. Now, let me tell you, if you’ve never had a mammogram, this is something like that. A large force smooshing your breast into shapes that G-d never intended a female breast to be in. This is painful! Many men don’t realize this, but women with large breasts are often uncomfortable when the weather heats up. Then again, we are sometimes uncomfortable when you guys heat up too, but that’s a different kind of book.
As I was saying, when it’s hot out, we get hotter, and that means heat rashes, usually under the breasts and between our thighs. For those of you that haven’t found the perfect remedy for that yet? After years of experimenting with different things, and having to lie my way around why I was walking funny, I found that a layer of Desitin and then a sprinkling of Baby Powder does wonders. It’s amazing. You might smell like your two year old after a diaper change, but at least you won’t walk like you’ve just given birth to a two year old.