In the movies, the guy sees the girl, their eyes meet, he walks over, and soon the two of them are chatting away as if approaching a girl were the easiest thing in the world. For some perhaps in the real world, it is just as easy as that. For others though, approaching a girl you’d like to meet is fraught with nerves, self-doubt and sometimes outright fear. This article is for those guys who shake in their boots when even the thought of approaching a girl enters their mind. Below are five good tips on how best to approach a girl.
1 – Choose the right setting. Generally if you wish to approach a girl you don’t know, it’s best if you do so when she’s not closely surrounded by other people, or engaged in conversation with someone else. If she is with others, or otherwise distracted, wait for an opening. Be patient. But don’t stare or look hungry. If you happen to catch her eye, smile. If she smiles back, that’s your opening. Otherwise, wait for her to go for a drink, or to go to the bathroom, or anything else that causes her to leave the safety of her crowd.
2 – Make up your mind. This is one of the most difficult parts of approaching a girl. Once you see her, and the situation seems reasonably appropriate, as you’re standing or sitting there thinking to yourself that you’d really like to meet this girl you’ve discovered; you have to make a conscience decision to get up, walk over there, and say something. Don’t discuss it with friends, or convince yourself that she’d never be interested in you. Simply steel your nerves and tell yourself that you are indeed going to approach her. That’s half the battle.
3 – Think of something to say. Quite often guys don’t think of something to say before they actually go over to approach a girl. This is a huge mistake, because if you’re nervous, the odds of thinking of something to say when she’s looking right at you are pretty slim. It doesn’t have to be anything earth-shaking or deeply profound; just some words that fit the environment. It should be appropriate though, which generally means steering clear of personal or intimate observations. If there is music and she seems to be enjoying it, perhaps you could comment on that. Or, if you’re feeling a little bolder, you might just tell her the blunt truth; that you noticed her and wanted to meet her. At any rate, once you’ve thought of something, next consider your follow up, because she’s likely to say something in response to what you’ve said. What will you say after that? You don’t want to stand there all tongue-tied, so, consider your opening words very carefully.
4 – Speak. Once you’ve thought of something to say, walk over to her and say it. Don’t skulk or hesitate, but don’t rush over either. Simply walk over as if you know her already, and are merely coming over to greet her, all the while keeping your eyes on her. Once you get there, make sure she knows you’re there, than open your mouth, and say the words you’ve prepared.
5 – Relax. Understandably, forcing yourself to relax when contemplating or engaging in highly anxious activities isn’t generally going to work. There are things you can do though that will help enough to get you through it all. The first is to remind yourself that what you are facing is not a life and death situation. She’s just a girl, no matter how pretty or cute, she is just a girl; one of billions on the planet. If she shoots you down, it won’t kill you. Undoubtedly you’ve been embarrassed before and will be again at some point, why not at least make it for something that might pay off? Another thing you can do is take deep slow breaths. Just a few, you don’t want to get dizzy, but enough to get the oxygen to your brain at optimum levels. Finally, if you’ve never actually approached a girl before, you might want to start with someone who you find less intimidating than others. For example if pretty girls cause you to lose your ability to think, try approaching someone who is not so pretty. Along the same lines, it’s probably best to begin with someone you haven’t already been thinking about for awhile, because then it becomes more important how she will react and thus more anxiety inducing.
These five good tips on how to approach a girl can be used by pretty much any guy that finds it difficult or impossible to approach a girl. If you are one of these people, I hope these tips help the next time you find yourself wanting to approach someone. Good luck.