Forgiving someone and letting go doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to forget. Forgiving someone means that you release the anger and let it go so that you can move on.
If someone apologizes to you for something they’ve done to hurt, upset or make you angry, the better thing to say is “I forgive you”, instead of saying “It’s okay, or it’s alright.” It is not okay, and it is not alright to hurt someone. So it is better to say that you forgive them and do not let them think it was okay that they hurt you.
Sometimes it may be hard to find it in yourself to forgive someone who hurt you really bad or made you really angry. It may take some time for you to calm down and think about the situation. When you learn to let go of those negative feelings and emotions, you might find that it is easier to forgive.
Forgiveness will then allow you to heal. It might help you to repair your relationship with the person that hurt you. If, however, this person is someone that consistently hurts you or is not out for your best interest, you should think about whether or not you should continue to keep this person in your life. You can still forgive them, without telling them in person, if you choose not to speak to this person again. You could write them a letter and say that you forgive them, but that you would rather not speak with them anymore. Here are a few ways that you learn to forgive someone and let go.
Seek professional help if it something that is badly affecting your life. If someone hurt you very bad and you simply cannot get over it, then I would recommend that you seek professional help from a counselor or therapist. They may help you to vent and get your feelings out and then they can give you the professional guidance you need to learn to let go and forgive.
Do not keep thinking negatively. If you keep a negative attitude for a long time, it will be hard for you to get over what it is that the person did to you. You have to learn to think more positively, by enjoying yourself, getting better and getting over the hurt, pain or anger. Once you start feeling better, it will be easier for you to forgive and put those negative feelings behind you. You can do this by meditating, exercising, reading self help books, spending time with friends and family and taking good care of yourself.
Do not let this person have power over you. When you are so angry that you can’t imagine ever forgiving this person, don’t let them win. They win by keeping you in a state of anger. Anger disrupts your life and can chaos in your other relationships. Take control of your life and learn to let go, so you can start feeling peaceful and calm again. It feels much better to be at peace than it does to be filled with anger and rage. Anger is a normal emotion and you may never completely get over the anger, but at least you can control it to the point where it does not rule your life or your emotions.
Write out your feelings in a journal. Get a journal and every few days a week, write the way that you feel. Notice any improvements in your mood or any anger or hostility that you may feel. Write it all down and get it out and off of your chest. The more you get it out, the better you feel that you can let go. Then you can possibly write a letter to the person to tell them you forgive them.
Vent to someone. If you have a trusted friend or relative that you can turn to for advice or just a good listening ear, then vent your feelings to this person. They may be able to offer you advice that could be beneficial to you in helping you to forgive and feel better. I know that when I am having a hard time getting over something that someone did to me, I will call my best friend and she will help me to calm down and learn to eventually let go.
Everyone makes mistakes. If you realize that everyone makes mistakes, even yourself, maybe you could learn to be a little more forgiving towards others. There may have been a time in your life that you have hurt someone, whether it was intentional or not. People do deserve to be forgiven, in most cases. If you tell yourself that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, maybe it will help you to see that they are human, just like you, and you would want to be forgiven too for your mistakes.
Do not let it eat you up inside. Without forgiving someone and letting go, you are causing yourself a lot of stress. In the beginning, it is okay to feel those feelings of hurt or anger, but then there comes a time when you have to let go. Instead of penting it all up inside and constantly feeling angry or bitter, let it out, and let it go. Take a warm bath or shower and watch the water go down the drain. Pretend that the water is all the bad things that people have done to you. Now you are washing them away and starting new. Once you take that first step to forgiveness, you will feel much better and be able to move forward to heal.