Okay, so you’ve done it. You’ve done something to upset your girl, which generally means you’ve hurt her in some way. And now she’s hurt and probably angry. You probably feel bad for hurting her, and would like to make it up to her. But most of all you’d like her to forgive you so that the two of you can get back to peace and happiness. The problem is, it’s not usually just a simple matter of saying you’re sorry, or buying her flowers or whatever you usually do. It goes deeper than that, especially if the thing you’ve done is pretty bad. And FYI, this five step approach won’t work at all if what you’ve done is cheat on her.
Step 1 –Get to the bottom of the issue. It’s not always clear just what exactly your girl is angry about, so you’ll need to do some thinking. Keep in mind that regardless of what you think the problem may be, it will almost always be because you’ve hurt her in some way, though it may not be clear to you how. For example, if you don’t come home when you say you will, she might take that as you finding life apart from her more enjoyable than with her. The bottom line is you have to figure out what the real issue is before you can respond appropriately.
Step 2 – Repent. Once you understand the problem and agree that you are at fault, you need to say you’re sorry. Figure out a way to mean it, otherwise it’ll sound like you’re sorry she’s mad, or sorry you got caught, rather than sorry for what you actually did wrong.
Step 3 –Decide on a course of action. Quite often even a solid humble apology isn’t enough; especially if you’ve done something pretty awful. In these cases, you’re going to have to take some action. There is the old tried-and-true approach of buying her flowers or some piece of jewelry or something. This may work, or it may not. If you’ve gone this route many times in the past though, and it’s been for the same thing, you may find she won’t be that impressed. You need to try something else. Something meaningful. That is actually the key to the whole thing, doing something that shows you’re truly sorry for what you’ve done. It might be something as dramatic as getting rid of something that is serving as a reminder, or obtaining something that will prevent you from repeating your mistakes. The possibilities are too numerous to list in an article, but the point is, you need to find something that is appropriate to the situation, not just some thing you happen to do whenever she gets mad.
Step 4 –Follow through. It’s not enough to make promises. You have to actually do something to prove you meant it when you said you were sorry. If you promise to do something, go do that thing. If you’ve promised to never do something again, well, that’s harder to demonstrate. The best you can do here is set up the circumstances so that you would be in the position to do it again, and then don’t. As an example, if you’ve insulted her parents, invite them over and demonstrate how you can get through an evening without insulting them.
Step 5 –Repeat. Here’s the catch to the whole thing. The thing is, when people apologize, they tend to get a little angry themselves if their apology isn’t accepted or if the anger in the other doesn’t dissipate rather quickly. The trouble is, that just won’t work. If you make someone angry, whether it’s your girl or someone else, it’s their anger, their issues. Not yours. You have no say in how long they take to get over it. The thing you need to do, is be patient, kind, considerate and understanding. And keep up with whatever promises you made. Show that you meant it when you said you were sorry, and hope that in time she will forgive you. That’s the best you can do. There are no guarantees when you do things to hurt or anger people. So, next time, don’t do that.
This five step approach on how to get your girl to forgive you is intended to help guys who have upset their girl and are looking for ways to get her to forgive you. If this is you, I hope this approach works for you. Good luck.