The past several months Manny Ramirez has been one of the top stories in baseball. Manny’s former teammate Jonathan Papelbon decided he was going to speak out and decided to call Manny Ramirez a “cancer” in the locker room. If Manny Ramirez is a cancer, then where do I get some?
Besides the fact that Papelbon is cowardly for waiting for Manny Ramirez to leave and then say something about him, I think it’s also pretty careless of Jonathan Papelbon to call Manny Ramirez a cancer. Now Americans all over the country are going to be begging to get cancer. Please God, could you send my New York Mets some cancer? No? How about Jason “scurvy” Bay? Please just no “Syphilis” J. D. Drew.
Seriously though, what is Jonathan Papelbon thinking? I’ll be the first to admit that Manny Ramirez is a little out there at times, actually I’d be about the 6 billionth person to admit it (the other 7 million humans on earth haven’t figured it out yet). As long as he’s not part of a future steroids scandal he’ll go down in history as one of the best hitters of this era. Manny Ramirez might go down in history as the best non-American baseball player ever. Most importantly Manny Ramirez was largely responsible for two World Series wins.
There were other big contributors to the two Boston Red Sox World Series wins. Pedro Martinez, Johnny Damon, David Ortiz, Curt Schilling, Dustin Pedroia. I hate to break it to Jonathan Papelbon but he’s far down the list. I know that he’s already this legendary figure in Boston but really Papelbon won a World Series ring because he rode the coattails of the best team in baseball at the time.
Let’s be real about what Jonathan Papelbon’s job is. Papelbon comes into the game with absolutely nobody on base and gets three outs. Wow! The save stat is one of the most ridiculous stats in sports. I might just count how many times it happens to my New York Mets this season just to prove how useless a closer is. If starting pitchers got a save every time they pitched one inning without giving up any runs then how many saves do you think Johan Santana pitches? 50? 75? 100? I bet even the fifth pitcher on most Major League Baseball staffs do it around 30 or 40 times, the same amount that a closer does. That’s why teams like Milwaukee just throw some random player in the closer spot and gets 40 saves every year.
The point is, even if Manny is “being Manny” he’s approximately 50 times more important than Jonathan Papelbon has ever been to the Boston Red Sox. If Manny Ramirez is cancer then what is Jonathan Papelbon if he’s 50 times worse? The Bubonic Plague? The Black Death? AIDS?
Maybe we’re all overacting though. Maybe Jonthan Papelbon calling Manny Ramirez a cancer was just the media twisting his words or putting words into his mouth. Maybe Jonthan Papelbon was talking about Manny Ramirez’s zodiac sign. Maybe what everyone failed to report was after his cancer comment Jason Varitek chimed in and pointed out that Manny Ramirez is actually a Gemini. Those pitchers and catchers are always getting their signs mixed up.