Fixing your relationship often requires doing things differently and gathering new information. In this article I’ve highlighted some useful ideas and advice for people who want to create meaningful and lasting change in their relationships.
Let’s start with some basic ideas that will help you start thinking about your relationship. Take an honest look at yourself, if you begin with facts that are not true you will not fix the real situation. Be specific, identify the behaviors of the people involved not what you think they might be thinking. Examine your contribution to the situation and do some work to improve you input. Seek new information and make some changes. Think about how your life will be different once you have fixed the problem. Give yourself a chance to succeed. Prioritize by taking on the most serious problems first. You can only fix one problem at a time. Take the time to let things work and try not to rush things. Stick to a plan; the act of doing things over time creates change. Remember that no one becomes an expert until they practice a lot.
So you’ve reached the point where you really want to make a change and you are willing to do things differently and you still ask yourself, “How do I start?” For significant change to happen in our lives we have to have a plan we can follow, a guide that acts like a map and reassures us we are doing things in some organized way. Think of how we learn. We can’t read until we are taught. We can’t do math until we are taught. We can’t drive a car until we are taught. But once we learn the skill we are able to do things well. To fix your relationship requires that you learn how to behave in ways that will work.
Your best chance of success in fixing your relationship is to get the information or guidance necessary to put a plan in effect. Once you have learned how to succeed you will then be able to do things effectively and in a consistent, organized manner. Gather all the information you can on how to succeed. Learn new ways of doing things. Make sure you have a road map on how to do it. The good news is that anyone can change his or her relationship. You don’t have to stay stuck in the same rut. Everyone deserves to have relationships that make him or her feel good rather than bad. People of all backgrounds have proven
time after time that they can fix their relationship with a basic plan and the will to change. There is no mystery to this process and you don’t have to keep winging it. You just need to be willing to try a different approach.
You may find that one of the most important factors in beginning to resolve your relationship issues is moving in a different direction. The process of moving in a different direction can be difficult because it takes us out of our comfort zone. We have to overcome that fear and sense of discomfort and do things in a different way. This does not have to be a revolutionary or shocking process. Sometimes change in a relationship is created by just a small effort. The key to moving in a different direction is breaking the pattern you have established and creating a new, more productive, pattern of behavior.
As you can see, there are ways to fix your relationship and make it work for you. You now have the opportunity to move in a different direction rather than doing what you’ve always done. Take advantage of the strength and desire you posses and begin doing things to help yourself.