Marriage is hard work sometimes. There are many times that you may find yourself in a situation that needs compromise in order to make it work. One of those times is when one spouse wants a baby but you aren’t quite ready for it yet. This can cause great pains to one or both people in the relationship. There are some things that you should put into action so that everyone is happy.
Here are some things that you can do when this situation occurs:
Figure Out Why
The first thing that you should do is to figure out why you aren’t ready for children yet. If it is because you are afraid of the changes that the child will make in your life, this will never change. Having a child changes your life in ways that you never expected. It should be a well thought out thing before jumping into parenthood. If it is because you are afraid you don’t have the financial standing to have a child, this will never change either. Children are very expensive. There is no way around that. Waiting until you have enough money may mean that you will never have children.
Talk to your spouse about your fears. Your husband/wife is the person that you should be able to count on. Be honest about how you feel and why. This will allow both of you to move through the decision making about a child together.
Talk to your family and friends also. Many people have already been through this same situation. They can help you figure out the best way to handle it. There are even situations where the wife will get pregnant without letting the husband know that she has. These situations can turn out wonderfully, but they can also turn out poorly. Being forced into parenthood when you aren’t ready isn’t a great feeling. That is why talking it out with your spouse as soon as possible is so important.
When both of you want children but can’t agree on when, set goals. Decide when you will try to start a family and stick with it. Your spouse will feel better knowing that he/she will be able to have that child and you will feel better knowing that it doesn’t have to be right away. Make the goals reasonable. You don’t want to tell your spouse that she/he has to wait for years before a baby comes into play. That will lead to bad feelings the entire time.
Stick With the Plan
Once you have set the goals, don’t put if off when the time comes. You are asking for trouble if you do that. Work hard to get to the place that you want to be financially and emotionally before you have a child. Don’t back away when the time truly is right.
Adding a baby to a marriage is a wonderful experience. There is nothing like having a child to make your life complete. It should be done only when both people are ready for it though. If you truly aren’t ready, the time to state it is now. There is nothing worse for a child than to be brought into the world with one reluctant parent.