It came in a message from Facebook. I had a secret admirer. Wow, was I ever excited. Of course, I’m a married man, but think of the ego trip. Could she be the girl of my dreams? Could she have blonde hair, hazel eyes, a stunning smile, and a slim figure? I would know soon. I was expecting a picture on my Facebook at any moment.
Minutes passed by as I anxiously waited for this dream girl. Here comes the picture. Oh my God. She was enormously big. She was about 5’7″ tall. She was hairy. She must weigh over four hundred pounds. She moved around on her knuckles. Her face was huge. She was a gorilla. My secret admirer wrote to me that I appealed to her. She was going ape crazy. She wanted to meet me at a restaurant for a special dessert. She wanted to share a banana split with me. Holy King Kong, what was I going to do? I sadly had to inform Ms. Penelope Gorilla that I was a married man and could not meet with her.
She wrote to me that she understood and asked that I would write to her from time to time. I promised that I would write to her. After all, how could I say no to those sadly, expressive eyes. Perhaps my next secret admirer will be a human being. Who can tell in the wild world of Facebook.