“Life is difficult,” and I have found this to be my mantra in the past few months (Peck, 1978, p.1). This statement at first seems very intimidating, but when you look further into it, it is what makes us human. I believe that “what makes life difficult is the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one” (Peck, 1978, p.16). This statement implies that life will always be painful because there will always be problems that need to be solved, but we should not be afraid of this because problems can bring out the good in people. “Problems call fourth our courage and our wisdom; indeed; they create our courage and our wisdom”, and problems are what allow us to “grow mentally and spiritually” (Peck, 1978, p.16). Without problems we can not evolve, and once again I am reminded that problems should be welcomed instead of avoided.
Many people do not like to talk about their feelings. They feel that talking about their problems will only lead to conflict, but conflict is not bad. It presents opportunity to learn. Avoidance is useless, and it only leads to more conflicts. Avoiding problems is unhealthy because you can only learn from conflicts by dealing with them. When conflicts have been dealt with and appropriate courses of action have been determined conflicts fail to exist become they are no longer something you are struggling against.
Responsibility is a huge part of problem solving. “We must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it”, and many people believe that their problems are caused by society or another person. This belief allows people to avoid their problems because they think that they are someone else’s responsibility to fix. In order to solve problems you must realize they are yours first. This has led me to question myself because I always want to help others solve their problems. I feel like this is robbing them of the opportunity to find wisdom and courage inside themselves, but at the same time I do not want to see them hurt or fail. I feel this situation is rough for me because I do not want to not help someone I love because I want them to be okay, but I guess I should let them take responsibility for themselves.
Life may seem trying at times, but if we deal with our problems the tough times get easier. Remember practice makes perfect especially in this situation. Responsibility is the first step to learning to deal with problems in a positive manner. I hope these theories have helped you learn to deal with your problems in a positive and productive way. Compassionate and honest living is the only answer to becoming a better person and creating a better world.
Peck, M.S. (1978). The Road less traveled: a new psychology of love, traditional values, and spiritual growth. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.