I am normally a mild mannered man, but thanks to television, my patience is wearing thin and my hatred for certain individuals grows stronger each day. Too much of America is made up of famous people I despise and can do without. Most of these knuckleheads are from the entertainment industry-individuals of great wealth and fame whose faces are constantly popping up on my TV. What they all have in common is an absence of even a shred of what I would consider talent. I am tired of hearing about these brainless, over-privileged brats. Others who can disappear from this planet have gained notoriety by being “news stories”-stories that should have run their course the day they broke–yet these losers just won’t go away. If any of the people on this list were to suddenly go bye-bye, I would not be part of the search party.
Speidi
They keep appearing on my TV and I’ve had enough! “Reality stars” Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt combine to comprise what Hollywood rags refer to as “Speidi” and what I call “those two insipid pains-in-the-ass I don’t give a crap about.” Separately, they are only stupid and obnoxious; together they should be eliminated. I am not a violent man, but I think I could “accidentally” strangle these two useless pieces of crap and feel good about it.
Miley Cyrus
This young lady makes me cringe every time she opens her big yap and needs to be taken down a notch or two. Miss Cyrus has far too much poise and confidence for a child with less talent than a junior high school musical understudy. She’s so bad, her father looks good in comparison-and he sucks! There may be just one reason I can think of to keep her around: After Miley and all of her ‘tween fans have grown up, she will become completely irrelevant and desperate for attention. And that’s when a Playboy pictorial will surely follow.
The Kardashians
Kim Kardashian’s ample caboose has already ridden the Playboy pictorial track and even that wasn’t enough to hold my interest. And anyone who knows me will tell you beautiful, naked women with ample cabooses usually hold my interest. This dingbat and her entire vacuous, privileged, famous-for-being-famous family have taken their “reality” show Keeping up with the Kardashians and done the impossible by making The Osbournes look like a think tank.
Paula Abdul
With limited talent, few brain cells, and frightening looks, the American Idol judge is either stoned out of her head or extremely brain damaged-and that’s on a good day. This crazy broad hears voices while doing interviews, does the horizontal bop with certain contestants, inspires fans to off themselves, and worst of all, thought Sanjaya was “a shining star.” Most whack jobs like her reside in institutions, yet Paula manages to make a lucrative career out of riding an elevator that doesn’t stop at all floors. It’s time to escort Ms. Abdul to the lobby and show her the door.
The Real Housewives of Orange County or Atlanta or New York or wherever else there are rich, obnoxious, narcissistic women
The only thing “real” about any of these women is the real desire I feel to take a baseball bat and beat each of them to a bloody pulp. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
Anyone who has ever appeared on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette
Do any of these idiots really think they are going to find true love on a TV show? Nothing leads to a lifetime relationship like a camera crew, a sound crew, a director, a gaffer, a best boy, and a bunch of caterers all crowding into your bedroom as you share an intimate moment with one of the final three women you think you might possibly be kind of, sort of falling in love with. Or maybe it’s just because she has a big rack-you’re not really sure.
Joe the Plumber Wurzelbacher
Republicans fell in love with this genius during the 2008 presidential campaign. He joined John McCain on the campaign trail and every time he opened his pie-hole he helped further assure that America would finally be blessed with an intelligent president who speaks English. For that, Joe the Plumber, I thank you. But now that you did your part in getting Barack Obama elected, GO AWAY! We are done with you! There are leaky faucets and backed up crappers that need your attention.
Nadya Suleman
The Octomom’s 15 minutes should have expired about 15 minutes after she had her litter and still we are bombarded by mind-numbing stories about this clueless twit. Please, take her poor kids away from her and give them to normal people who have things like houses and jobs and who don’t think of their children as a toy collection. Then remove all of her baby-making parts, smack her Angelina Jolie-wanna-be face and make her go away!
