When I was a child I was spanked frequently. Eventual, when I became a teenager, the spankings turned into beatings. From my childhood experience, I decided, at the age of 14, I would never lay a hand on my children I was to ever have one because I did not want my children to experience what experienced as a child.
Many years passed by, with the same intent of not laying a hand on my children if I was to ever have any, when finally I met the love of my life and finally got married at the age of 30. The marriage came with extras though; 6-year-old step-daughter and a 9-year-old step-son. With my mind made up about not spanking a child, I was sure the transition from bachelorhood to being married with step-children would not be that hard to deal with.
I found out right away that I was not getting the respect I deserved from my step-children. My step-children would ignore anything I told them to do. The way of not spanking my children was not working. I decided to talk to my wife about the situation; she told me to spank the children to gain their respect. What my wife told me through me for a loop; everything she said went against my morals.
I had to find a solution and fast. The way things were going at that time was very counterproductive for the family as a whole. After sleeping on the matter, I finally decided to good cop and bad cop with my step-children. I would enforce the rules that were set for my step-children. If my step-children did not follow the rules, I would give them sentences or put them in a corner in the house. If my step-children refused my punishment, I would hand them over to my wife who has no problem spanking them.
I was shocked to believe that the new system worked. In fact, even today which is almost three years later, the system I made still works. Most of the time my step-children follow my punishments, but sometimes my wife has to spank them to remind them that it is better to be punished by me then to be punished by her. My step-children are older now, so I erased the corner punishment and implemented grounding as a replacement. My step-children love their freedom, so there is much trouble from them these days.
Through my whole ordeal of going into the situation getting married with two step-children and struggling to get respect from them, I have found a way to still uphold my moral of not laying a hand on my children. It is true I need help from my wife to reinforce boundaries for her children, but somehow I won the uphill battle of not spanking my step-children.