If you’ve ever been to a Catholic Mass, odds are you’ve heard a prayer called the Nicene Creed. They recite it about halfway through the service after the sermon. It’s a fine prayer and it has gone through several variations over the years. There is one line, however, that I always found to be rather, well odd. One of the closing lines in the prayer is “We look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come”.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t look for the resurrection of the dead. There are a few examples of resurrection being a positive thing: Jesus, Lazarus, Superman, Optimus Prime and Spock among a few others. However, the dead rising from the grave usually means either zombies or ghosts. Neither of which are a particularly good thing. Some ghosts are benevolent, but a vast majority are not.
The emergence of zombies tends to result in the collapse of civilization as we know it. I would hope that people are savvy enough to know how to kill a zombie. In the movies, they always try to shoot them in the chest repeatedly when they should just go straight for the head shot. FYI, zombies die via blows to the head. Either shoot them in the forehead or bash their skull in. Fire will frighten them and buy you some time but if you really want results, just put a bullet between their eyes. Even taking genre savviness into account, I do not want a zombie uprising.
Ghosts are little better. You may think that they are incorporeal, and thus, no threat. This is not the case. They can harm, even kill, you if they so desire. You, on the other hand, can’t fight back. Alas the government has yet to develop proton packs so really, salt is your only defense.
Dr. Doug Murphy on Scrubs said it best “Dead people should be dead”. It is the natural order of things. I know that the loss of a loved one is hard to bear. You want them to return, but its better this way.
Even if they do come back, they won’t come back as the person you last saw. Pet Semetary illustrates this point perfectly. As Jud Crandall so eloquently put it “sometimes, dead is better”. Do you really want your beloved pet or relative coming back as some homicidal demonic thing that you have to go through the emotional hell of killing again?
I brought this point up to my dad one day and he didn’t really have a response beyond “you watch too many movies”. I can’t argue that, but I still believe I have a legitimate point here.
What if the dead do rise, but it’s the sign of the return of, not someone benevolent like Christ, but something dark and evil like Gozer or Cthulu? Screw that mess, I’d rather the afterlife stayed in the afterlife and leave our realm alone. If there is no afterlife, than this is moot. If there is an afterlife, however, we can all reunite there. Don’t come here or call us, we’ll get in touch with you when the time is right.