Are you over 40? Entering the dating world? Here is a list of what men DO NOT want to hear on the first date.
1. What is that cologne you are wearing – “Eau de Homeless” ?
2. They never did find my ex-husband ‘s body.
3. Three kids over 21 – you think one of them would have a job.
4. I am planning to move out of the halfway house soon.
5. I carry a gun because somedays I feel like shooting someone’s pecker off.
6. I love expensive wines. Have you ever tried that Boones farm?
7. I like men that smoke. That’s why I set my last husband on fire.
8. I always sleep with my pit bulls.
9. With Depends, I can sleep through the night.
10. I know you shouldn’t talk about sexual diseases on the first date but …
11. Cocaine is SO expensive these days
12. Anger management problems my ass!!!!
13. I told my psychologist I would take up a new hobby . Stalking takes up SO much time.
14. How do you think crack compares to meth?
15 .I am pretty sure it is just a fever blister…
16. I bet you were cute when you were younger…
17. So you don’t work out much do you …
18. I tazered the last guy that tried to kiss me
19. You kinda look like Woody Allen..
21 Is it okay if I left my front teeth at home?
22. Did you know I was still married?
23. Why don’t you meet me at my house? But I get off of house arrest in a few weeks.
24. Actually it was easier getting on welfare than I thought.
25. You mind if I smoke this cigar?
26. So much stress, so much medication.
27. Thank God for credit cards.
28. My ex-husband is doing better controlling his jealous rages.
29. I didn’t mean to hit my ex THAT hard with the baseball bat.
30. So, we’re a couple?
31. Kitchen knifes can do more than carve steak.
32. I hate it when I get the Prozac and bladder control medicine mixed up.
33. You mind if I call my parrot?
34. So after I smashed the TV, I said ,”Now do you want me or football?”
35. I just am saying that Danielle Steele can write circles around that Shakespeare guy.
36. I really need to get that AIDs test soon.
37. Your hair looks rank. But at your age, you’re lucky to have hair..
38. If this is such a fine Italian restaurant, why don’t they serve Spaghetti -Os?
39. I have only seen gay men drive this type of car.
40. Have you thought about weight watchers?