Domestic violence can be defined as purposely violating your spouse with intention to control. this type of violence can be physical or mental. When domestic violence happens in a family, it should be dealt with right away. The problem however is that it is sometimes difficult for the spouse to recognizeand handle the situation because they really love and care for their spouses. In this article, we will discuss “understanding domestic violence”, types of domestic violence, reasons it’s not reported and how to get help. Let’s begin.
One form of domestic violence is mental or verbal abuse. This type of abuse is often quite subtle and difficult to recognize however it really wreaks havoc on the mind and spirit. WIth verbal abuse, the abuser hurts his spouse with vile and unkind words. Not only does this cause the abuser to feel more powerful but it causes the abusee to have low self esteem. By playing on the spouse’s low self esteem, the abuser attempts to control the spouse with their words.
Another form of abuse is called physical abuse. With physical abuse, the spouse actually touches the person in a threatening or physically harming way. This type of abuse can include slaps, punches, kicks, etc. Many times domestic violence begins as verbal abuse but escalates to physical abuse.
A lot of spouses don’t report domestic violence because they are afraid that the abuser will hurt them further. In addition, they may be fearful that their spouse may hurt other family members as well. The important thing about understading domestic violence is to realize that it is all about control and if you’re being abused, you have to get help now. It is only going to get worse not better. Here are some suggestions for getting help:
When you feel you are being abused, first try and talk to your spouse and ask them to go to counseling. Pick your times and make sure that it is time when they are in a good mood. Some abuse is the result of substance abuse. If your spouse is abusive due to drug or alcohol, make sure that your spouse is sober when you talk to them. Also, choose a counselor that specializes in domestic violence issues.
Tell other peopel about the domestic violence. Don’t hide it from others who are close to you. they may just be able to help you get out of the situation if needed.
Start preparing for your exit now. You need to start preparing for your exit in case counseling doesn’t work. After all, you’re putting your life in danger by staying. Talk to domestic violence hotlines and seek refuge from a shelter. They will not only help you get away but they can provide safety as well.
If you feel that your life is being threatened, don’t be afraid to talk to the authorities to report your spouse. Once this is done, make a clean break and don’t go back and forth into the relationship. When you do this, you’re sending mixed messages and the abuser thinks he can still misuse you. With an abuser, you must be firm and say “No means no.”
In conclusion, abuse is not an acceptable act. If you’re a victim of abuse, seek help right away through a friend as well as the authorities.