Having doubts about whether to get married or not can be unwarranted. On the other hand, these fears may be very real problems for your future together. Many people simply get cold feet. One person begins to question their decision which is normal behavior for many. Others have serious questions about their partners ability to be a good husband or wife. That is when you have to step back and take a closer look at the issues.
The doubts that are truly not reasonable are the little things. Will you be able to live with the other persons little habits? Are you really ready to give up your own space? Things like this are small and you will be fine once you are married. These have little to no impact on whether a marriage could work between the two of you. They are normal fears that you won’t even realize exist once you have begun living together.
There are other severe issues that need to be addressed sometimes though. Here is a look at some of the more serious issues that could impact you for the rest of your life if you walk down the aisle with this person:
Trust is one of the main ingredients in a marriage. If you cannot trust your partner with everything that you have, you should not get married. Having mistrust for this person when you walk down the aisle is simply asking for trouble later on. There is nothing worse than walking on pins and needles worrying about whether this person will be true to you as he/she has promised to.
This isn’t the only trust issue there is though. You also have to think about things such as finances or honesty in general. If you don’t trust this person to tell you the truth, what is the point of marrying him/her? There is no point because that is a recipe for disaster.
Abuse of any kind is uncalled for. It is wise to stay out of any relationship that involves this issue. If your partner has a history of any kind of abuse either with you or someone else, it is a sign to get away from him/her. These situations can be very dangerous for you. You may think that this shouldn’t even be mentioned because “who in their right mind would marry someone that abuses them?” It’s called love. People do it everyday whether it makes sense or not. When it ends in tragedy or gets worse over time, that person then wonders why things got so bad. Don’t wonder. If you have doubts about marrying someone for this reason, your doubts should be listened to!
Substance abuse is a leading cause of marital breakup. It might be fun to party but it can get out of hand. If you and your partner have a habit of drinking or even taking drugs on a regular basis, you may begin to doubt whether you should get married or not. You should definitely put those nuptials on hold. If the only way that the two of you can have fun together is to be drinking and such, then you have no basis for a real marriage. Marriage is hard work and it takes a lot of give and take. This isn’t possible when either one or both people is always under the influence. This doesn’t even mention the fact that these things also often lead to domestic abuse.
Most people will have just a tiny bit of doubt in the back of their minds when they are getting ready to give their life over to someone else. This is what you do when you get married. You are no longer an individual. The couple becomes one. If you have serious doubts it is time to call it off. If you have the normal jitters, you will get through fine.
People who have been married before often have more doubts than those that haven’t been. For those people, it is important to keep in your mind that the person you are marrying is not the person you were married to before. Don’t make that person pay for the sins of another.