Not everyone is good at everything, the ability to get and, more importantly stay married is a little more difficult than it looks on the surface. A successful marriage is comprised of many constantly changing components requiring regular maintenance, and a person unwilling or unable to put in the work should not undertake the adventure. Marriage is not for everyone, unfortunately that realization comes after the vows for the misguided who never should have married in the first place. It takes a special personality to thrive within the boundaries of marriage, and a special mate to help balance the relationship of two different individuals and steer it in a singular direction.
Selfish or narcissistic individuals will not fare well within a marriage, and those that do attempt the endeavor usually fail. By the foundation of it’s basic principles marriage is about sharing, and a person who is self-absorbed cannot contribute to a marriage in an appropriate manner. Worse yet is the confusion felt by an individual who entered into a union with a selfish personality, who wonders daily if the failure of the relationship is in part their fault. When the dust settles, usually sometime after the ink dries on the divorce decree, the truth appears in realizing a selfish individual is incompatible in any marriage arrangement.
Couples that marry at a young age frequently discover that marriage is not for everyone, especially those who have not matured in totality. It’s difficult enough for a young person to discover what they need personally to thrive and prosper, let alone to figure out what a mate requires. Sprinkle in the rampant emotional swings of youth, and a recipe for relationship disaster is born. The constant drama and trauma of two immature people legally bound in a marriage will eventually reveal that marriage is not for everyone, particularly those still growing mentally and emotionally.
In the final analysis, marriage is not for everyone in that unless a person is willing and eager to commit every moment to the “Team” concept, it is best avoided. The desire to place a mate first and to “forsake all others” is easier said than done, especially in times of relationship disharmony. Only those willing and able to embrace the concept of a relationship that is more important as a whole than the sum of individual wishes should marry in theory, however this is impractical in reality. Perhaps as a society in whole, if divorce were more difficult to obtain or had more severe ramifications, the significance of wedding vows would dissuade those from marrying that should not.